I…yes. Yes, I do. Every time I think about a certain someone from my not-so-distant past, that’s precisely how I feel.
Sometimes I consider opening the lid again, peeking out at the world above, in hopes of regaining what is long lost. But I know it’s useless. I know that person never wants to see or hear from me again, and even though it kills me in a way nothing has ever killed me before, I’m going to give them what they want.
You see, starting somewhere around six months ago, I did something that I’m terribly ashamed of…I forgot how to be a friend to someone when they’re at their lowest. I forgot how to be there for someone when they need me most. It is this that reveals my worthlessness. It is this that causes my pain. And it is this that has shoved me into the box.
I can imagine nothing that I would love more than to find myself out of the box and back in the arms of the one I held so dear and then lost due to my own failure to be a decent human being. But I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do, and even if I did know what to do, I’m not sure I would have the courage to do it.
I’ve been shoved into a box because it’s where I deserve to be. No matter what I do, no matter how loud I shout, no one will ever reply or even hear me. Because they’re done with me. And rightfully so. They don’t want anything to do with me anymore. And who can blame them? So I sit here, alone, with my thoughts. I’m plagued, consumed in this hell I’ve made for myself. But the fire and the pain of my worthlessness - it’s warmer than the cold betrayal of my so-called friends. The very ones who left me to rot in my little box. Because maybe this is where I belong. Maybe here, I won’t hurt anyone.
…Wat. This is not where I thought this was going. The first few messages made me expect something, like…deep and personal and emotional. This is quite different, but definitely still interesting. Feel free to continue, dear anon.
Bracelet? What? I am so confused right now.
Hm…this seems to be taking a different turn than I expected…
This is beautiful, anon. I love you.
GOOD GRIEF ANON YOU’RE GIVING ME FEELS AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON
wow you’re good
please don’t stop
Wow, anon, that’s very nice. I’d love to hear more of it. I’d quite enjoy finding out what exactly is going on with this. Please?
Um, don’t you think that’s a little extreme? How about I just do 1 and 40 instead? Will that be okay?
1.What you’re drinking.
It’s almost gone, but it’s some of my South Mississippi sweet tea, as always.
40.Something weird that you own.
Last time I did this, I took a couple pictures of a shelf full of weird things (this post). Since then, I have filled in the gap on the top shelf, so I’m going to use this question to show you guys the weirdly awesome/awesomely weird thing that inhabits the former gap.
Good grief I would much rather be drowned in a glass pool of water than have to do anything like that to anyone, especially a freaking child. This is a very unpleasant thing, anon. I do not thank you for this.
Ah. Well then. I have no answer for this, kind anon, save an “~Ey” to you, as well. <3
Oh dear! No, I don’t believe so! Because (a) I am heteroromantic asexual (although I doubt you meant that), and (b) assuming you meant cuddles, I am much too awkward for any of that unless I have been very close to you for a very long time. You can ask any of my IRL friends. I don’t even sit very close to people unless I’ve gotten really close to them and comfortable with them. I’m the very definition of awkward. Sorry, nonnie love.
This is a very vague question, but assuming that you are asking to which hair color I am more likely to be attracted, the answer is brunette.
I wouldn’t. I believe that God creates people the gender they’re supposed to be and that it isn’t within their authority to change that, so I would still consider the person a girl. Again, I understand completely that people disagree with me. But that’s how I feel about it, nonetheless.
Once, when I was a preteen, I went running through the living room of my grandparents’ house with no pants on, thinking that my granny and I were the only two people in the house. The living room, to my surprise, contained my pawpaw, two uncles, and several male cousins. That was extremely embarrassing.